Being a new mother (like most) I wasn't quite sure what I was getting myself into by having a child. Sure I've had experience with kids: I babysat for a couple of bucks here and there growing up, I watched my mom raise my three younger siblings and I work in a family practice clinic where all I do is deal with kids and once those two pink lines appeared positive on that blasted pee stick, parenting websites and books became my best friend. So really with all this great material that I had access to How hard could raising a child be?
Although my child is only a little over a month old my question was answered in about the third day when I returned home from the hospital and reality set in. Raising a child is hard. No slice of cake here. Especially when that precious angel cant do anything for itself at the moment. Nurse baby, burp baby, change baby for the fifth time, baby falls asleep- ah I can finally wipe the kitchen counters and do a load of whites that have been sitting there since before I went into labor. Baby awakes, nurse baby, burp baby, change her clothes and my shirt due to the amount of spit up that just went everywhere (Jesus Lord how could this come out of a six pound body?) baby falls asleep and process is repeated day in and day out.
This wasn't how I imagined my life you know, I didn't want kids (not that I have anything against them) I love kids but I didn't see them
fit for my lifestyle. I was wanting to live in a big city probably Chicago or New York and come home to my loft apartment with my contemporary furniture (definitely not the child proof kind) and go in and out as I pleased.
Instead I live on the coast in a cozy town where good shopping can be found within 35 minutes to an hour and a half away. I treasure the time of sleep I can get while my baby cat naps and not to mention that I feel accomplished with the day if I can go grocery shopping, shower, and have dinner ready before my husband is out the door for work. Honestly though I wouldn't change a single thing. I am married to a wonderful man who has supported me in everything, who is my best friend, and who has had a beautiful baby girl with me and for that I consider myself truly blessed. I wouldn't for a micro moment trade all the dirty diapers, the beginners soreness accompanied with Nursing, the late night hours trying to put my reflux fussy baby to sleep while my husband was at work, waking up smelling of my daughters spit up breast milk, and frankly just dealing with the idea that I have no clue in hell what I am doing. I manage to make it work though, I manage to keep my baby girl alive healthy and fed even if I am only resting on a few hours of sleep. I manage to still find joy and laughter out of the things that are funny. I manage to not pull my hair out at the end of the day even though the thought has crossed my mind. many times. I've learned to let the things that bothered me before to not bother me as much or at all because at the end of the day when I'm in bed with my family I realize that this is truly the best feeling ever and for those people who shared the same feeling as I did before I was pregnant are really missing out on something great. I am a working woman, a daughter, a sister, a friend, a wife and of course a mother. This is it, this is my life. Motherhood has hit.
