Marriage

For my hunk of a Husband.

What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. Mark 10:9

What does Marriage mean to me?
It's a bond between each other and God that you will stand by that person through anything in faith, love, charity, humility, and honesty. To create a lifelong story with the one who has half of your heart. Waking up in the morning completely bliss and never going to bed heartbroken because your best friend is there with you until the end.

Thinking of the next topic to write on, my marriage kept popping into mind. I don't know why and to where I would even start but the thought of writing it would not leave. I looked into some web articles and asked some friends what marriage meant to them to better help guide me on this post. Ever since I was little I grew up in a family where the love was strong, God was good, and marriage... well it was when the mom stayed at home and took care of the kids and "motherly/wife duties" and dad spent all day at work to bring home the bacon. Like all things, they come to an end and my parents divorced the year I went off on my own. I have never really looked into every exact reason onto why they split, or even asking when they noticed that the love was slowly slipping away. My parents divorce is still a touchy subject and even though it was "for the better" I still feel like they should have fought harder for what they once had.

In todays world according to APA and the CDC' 50% of marriages result in divorce. That's half of the american population that are no longer together. Let me break it down more for you; roughly in america there is one divorce every 13 seconds, that's 6,646 divorces per day and 46,523 per week. What and when has this been an acceptable outlet to get out of something that you're no longer "happy" with or not willing to "work" on anymore? Is it the advancement in technology, the busy work hours from your job, or lack of communication?
In a 2013 survey the top five reasons on why people were divorced was because of the following:
1. Poor Communication
2. Finances
3. Abuse
4. No longer attracted to one another
5. Infidelity

But what brings a couple to infidelity or the excuse that they're no longer "attracted" to that person?

Being Married for just a short while ( 2 years, 2 months, and 7 days) I have already come to find out what things strengthen our relationship and what things weaken the very links. Bryan and I never got to experience that so called honeymoon phase, no not us. We "I DO'ed" our way into this marriage having no idea what to expect. Unfortunately no one has ever written a guide of general expectations on what marriage is like. Of course you can take advice all you want, but your marriage will be just as different as the next persons.  Never in a million years would I have ever found out what Misophonia was until I married bryan. I saved you the google steps, here is the definition: Misophonia – literally the hatred of sound -can be defined as a hypersensitivity to background sounds or visual stimuli that are generally ignored by other people and in my husbands case; ahhs after drinking; chewing; crunching (ice, other hard food); gulping; gum chewing & popping; kissing sounds; nail biting; sliverware scraping teeth; slurping; sipping; licking; smacking; sucking (ice,…); swallowing; talking with food in mouth; tooth sucking; wet mouth sounds; jaw clicking;
I don't think I've ever been more careful biting into and eating an apple when around him but regardless of how weird he is with my eating habits and fidgeting, I love the man to no end.

These 2 years have been wonderful. We've gone through more struggles than thought possible. We laugh at what road blocks we have run into and both agree on the fact that if we're still together after that, there's nothing that could tear us apart. What I could pass down to my daughter Blakely and future child # 2 would be this- Find someone who makes you just as happy as your daddy makes me. Find someone who does not change who you are unless it's for the better. Find a Man that sees God as an important foundation of your relationship. Marriage is not easy and has to be nurtured often, otherwise it weakens in time and all you are left with are two people with the same last name who are completely unhappy.

Our marriage in the Vande Sande home is filled with many things, both the good and the bad.  We yell, we yell at the dog, the TV and even at each other. We Fight, We fight for Love and the understanding of our emotions. We Cry, yes even Bryan; We cry in happiness, we cry in thankfulness, and we cry in sadness. We listen to each others feelings and opinions. Comment on the agreed and the disagreed. We do and say things that come from the heart, but also mess up and say the wrong things when we are hurt and upset. We learn from the past and make arrangements for the future. Laugh at the moments we've created along the way. I found someone that completes this fairy tale of mine. That does his Husband and Fatherly duties without question. That would do anything to protect us. As I stood in front of him on our wedding day we exchanged our promises towards each other, I felt a calm of simplicity knowing that this man before me is the one I am spending my whole life with. There's nothing greater than marrying your best friend and growing old together.
That moment will forever stay with me and it's kept close to my heart. My marriage makes me who I am today, each and every day. The good outweighs the bad by a lot. Every experience gives me a new perspective and realization that I am not the only individual this is effecting.  We kiss and make up before going to bed and say I love you before we depart. We stay and work on things rather then walk away. I consider myself blessed and I thank God every morning and night that I have found such a great man. I couldn't be more happier with anyone else.

Thank you for all that you do Bryan. It means more to me than you will ever know.

I Love you,
Always and Forever.

Thank you to all who answered my question on what marriage means to you. Your answers were so beautiful I had to share some of them. May your marriages continue to be filled with love and last forever. 


"I just wake up and think I'm the luckiest man in the world. I'm amazed ever day. Truly."
-Patrick McLaughlin

"...to me, marriage is knowing that whatever life throws at you, you'll have someone to go through it with and who will be on your team. It's a commitment to be that teammate to your partner, no matter what." -Maile Garrett

"Marriage to me is sacrifice but yet being completely willing to sacrifice anything for that person. It's simplicity knowing that no matter what you have in life as long as you have each other that's all that matters and most of all trust, trusting that no matter what life may throw at you that person will be there to take the blows and help you overcome any obstacle that may be put in your way."
-Chelsea Jones

"Marriage is coming home everyday to your number one fan, for never ending sleepovers with your best friend, and devoting all of your love and service to one person only because their happiness equates to yours in return." -Ashley Faldmo

"It means I was lucky enough to find my eternal partner and as a result I have committed my life to her happiness, not only in this life but through eternity." -Richard Garner

"It used to be in the last marriage fear and oppression, now it means harbor and strength."
-Galen Click

"I don't think people need to get married to have a marriage. It's more of a type of a relationship and bond that you have with a person rather than a piece of paper. Having it on paper is like the extra step to prove to that person that you really aren't going anywhere and that you aren't scared to face anything with them and that you're willing to work through tough situations because in the end, what is life without having someone you love to share it with. I guess to me it means having someone who is willing to give and take just as much as me and being able to share a commitment with someone that you don't ever wish to have with anyone else..."
-Caroline Allen